As per usual, it’s been about a decade between blog posts, but life has been super busy so far this year! I’m trying hard to get my study completed and we’ve also been working really hard on our budget which surprisingly takes up a lot more time than I’d expected! And to be completely honest, I just haven’t had anything I wanted to share or talk about. But tonight I noticed something within myself that I wasn’t happy with and I wanted to share it with you all because maybe some of you might be guilty of this too (I just want some reassurance that I’m not a horrible person haha).
I’m going to start this off by saying that I am naturally a very short tempered person thanks to genetics. I’ve definitely improved dramatically over the years (especially since having Hunter) but I still have my moments where I get fixated on something that really annoys or aggravates me and I usually act on that annoyance or anger. Again, a lot less these days but tonight I found myself so frustrated with someone that I couldn’t help but call them out on something that they’d been doing that (in my opinion) was utterly ridiculous. Now, I want to also mention that I was never nasty or rude in my comments but when I’m pissed off I generally come across very blunt. I don’t ever really regret what I say in that I think I’ve done the wrong thing or that I’ve overstepped the line and been nasty or hurtful, but most of the time, once I’ve given myself some time to think about something else or just become distracted, I usually regret having said anything in the first place. Or, just spent time worrying/thinking about something that just wasn’t worth my time. Most of the time I generally don’t say anything when something annoys/upsets/frustrates me because it just isn’t worth it, but then I find I sit and think about it constantly because I haven’t been able to get it off of my chest.
Which leads me to my next point. I’m currently laying in bed, it’s 1.07am and I can’t sleep. Because I am so beyond frustrated with myself for giving in to that side of me where I just can’t help myself. I can’t help but be passionate about certain things and I can’t help but voice my opinion. Like I said, I didn’t say anything nasty or anything I wish I could take back, but this topic did consume a lot of my thoughts tonight and it was just a complete and utter waste of time. So I wanted to share this quote with you all…
The original quote is “If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it.” But because I’m an over-thinker, I’ve reworded it to make it a bit more achievable haha. But this is something I’m going to try my absolute best to stick to. This obviously doesn’t apply to big life events but little things like spilling your coffee, someone saying something rude to you, the kids drawing on the walls, or like my situation tonight, people giving advice that isn’t in the best interest of others (I’m not going to go into detail because it is beyond boring and a bit petty but it was basically a fear mongering post regarding our local town flooding – which is unlikely – that they posted for shock factor and views without any evidence to back up their claims).
Do I disagree with it? Yes. Do I have to voice that I disagree with it? No. In 5 years time, will this affect me – or even better yet, in 5 years time, will I even remember this? Nope. Then why spend any more time thinking about it? While I was scrolling through Pinterest looking for this quote I stumbled across another one that literally made me say “Wow” out loud because I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that speaks to me more.
As someone who is an avid over-thinker and just an anxious person in general, I know this to be very true. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed etc over little things, but give yourself a moment to feel that way and then move on. Dwelling on it isn’t going to help or change anything, if anything it’s only going to make you feel worse and you’ll end up swimming in a pool of negativity.
I’ve actively tried incredibly hard this year to let things go. If it’s not a big deal, just Let. It. Go. And I’ve been doing very well with it actually. For the past 4 or 5 months at least, I’ve managed to not get caught up in my thoughts. I’m an incredibly passionate person and have very strong opinions which makes sticking to this pretty difficult sometimes and like tonight, sometimes I fail. But I’m trying my best to learn from moments like this rather than beat myself up for it. We aren’t perfect, we’re human. We’re going to falter, but the main thing is that we learn from our missteps and grow. Don’t kick yourself because you snapped and raised your voice at your children today, or that you gave the finger to the person who cut you off while you were driving. Recognise that you’ve faltered and grow from it. Install coping mechanisms if you need them (I’ve learnt to laugh when Hunter does something that frustrates me if it doesn’t require discipline and it actually works incredibly well) or do something kind for somebody if you have remorse for giving that person the finger. I find that I’m a very empathetic person, so even if I don’t feel like I’ve said or done anything wrong or inappropriate, I ALWAYS hold some sort of guilt afterwards for possibly offending or upsetting someone – so I always try to learn from the situation and do something good for somebody else to remind myself that it’s always the better choice. If you’re ever feeling tempted to lash out, voice your opinion whilst your worked up (never a good idea) or anything like that, try your best to remember the 5×5 rule. If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, try not to spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. Distract yourself, text your bestie and vent to them, or just do something nice for someone instead and don’t let yourself think about it.
I’ve definitely grown over the past few years and matured a lot – I don’t get annoyed by petty things very often anymore and I don’t take others advice or opinions to heart if they don’t align with mine, but there are moments where if its something that affects other people it just gets to me. I’m glad though that I’m finally in a place where I can recognise when I’m improving rather than just focusing on my flaws! So that’s a bonus haha.
Anyway, sorry if this was a bit rambley but it is 1.30am so I’m a bit delirious at this point haha. Hopefully some of you have found this relatable or useful somehow. Let me know your thoughts! I’d love to know I’m not alone in this.
I’m hoping to have a much more light hearted blog up on Friday – if not, it will be up early next week.
Thanks for reading!