I thought I’d finally write another normal blog rather than flooding you with Rescue Mumma stuff constantly. I’m sorry, I know it’s probably a tad annoying, but I am just so proud of my new little business and the concept behind it, I just really want it to do well. I’m going to be incredibly honest and vulnerable here, but it’s starting off a lot slower than I had hoped. Sales aren’t great and I have had a few little nervous breakdowns over whether jumping into a business was a good idea or not, but I am positive that this is worth sticking with and working hard on. Helping Mums is something I am so passionate about and as someone who has often struggled with Motherhood, I just really wanted a way for Mums to feel special and do something for themselves for a change. I’m sure it will pick up, but if I’m totally honest, this past week has been rough…
On Saturday, I turned 25! Twenty-five! That seems crazy to me. I am now in my mid-twenties and honestly, I never had any long term goals when I was younger but I kind of thought I’d be doing better in life by now. Don’t get me wrong, I am super blessed to have an amazing husband and son, we are finally back on track money-wise and I am generally happy with how things are going, but this year has been tough. I feel like I’ve had a quarter life crisis all year. I don’t really know what I’m doing or where I’m going with life. I like my job, however due to daycare fees changing, I am now literally working just to pay for daycare and I don’t really know if its worth it. My job now carries a lot more stress than it originally did when I started back in January and I’m not sure whether all of that stress and hard work is worth it if I’m not actually making any money. But on the other hand, Hunter needs to go to daycare. Being a very shy, only child, it is incredibly important that he socializes and attends daycare so that the transition into school and Kindy is easier. I really want this business to do well as I finally feel like I’ve found what I’m meant to do with my life, but at the same time because it hasn’t taken off like I originally had hoped, I’m constantly second guessing myself.
I think a lot of it comes back to the fact that I always thought I would have more children. That was in my original “plan” and I never really thought any further than that. Which is of course my own fault, I probably should have set more goals for myself, but I’m such an indecisive person that I always change my mind with what I want in life. Now that we aren’t having any more children, I’m left to decide a career path that is both rewarding/enjoyable and brings in an income.
Honestly though, other than my little career – quarter – life – crisis, everything is going really well. Jamie and I are happier in our marriage than we’ve ever been (our 4 year wedding anniversary was last Thursday! 4 whole years!) and Hunter is such a wonderful little man, I truly do feel so blessed. I guess I just feel lost. I’m not depressed or sad, I’m just…. very lost.
I think it’s important to remind ourselves when we feel like this that you could have a successful career, a beautiful family and all of the money you could ever want and need and you could still be unhappy. What I’m saying is, try your best to remind yourself of everything you are grateful for. I am guilty of always thinking of the negatives in my life instead of focusing on the positives and honestly it is a horrible way to live. Try your best to seek the positive in every day (kids are great at this so ask them what made them happy today, they often remind you to enjoy the little things) and seek out/accept help if you need it. Talk to people and allow yourself to have your sad moments, but try not to dwell on them.
As always, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here. Feel free to message me any time.
Lots of love,