When Women Support Each Other, Incredible Things Happen…

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.”
This quote popped up in my newsfeed this week and it inspired me to write this. Being a mother in this day and age is difficult – not only because being a wife and mother is difficult (sometimes) to begin with, but also because we have so much pressure put on us by social media. Whether it be influencers telling us how to raise our kids or what we are doing wrong or ‘experts’ telling us we should hug our kids more one week, then telling us to let them cry it out the next. On top of that we have Mum’s in the comment section of every ‘Mummy page’ tearing each other apart for their choices. It’s not just mothers either, it seems to be in every niche or hobby women seem to feel the need to tear each other down. Whether it be with fitness and eating healthy, to how someone looks or does their makeup, to what clothes they wear and what they choose to spend their money on. Why do we as women feel the need to constantly compete and tear each other down? Why can’t we be happy enough within ourselves to be able to live our lives how we want to live them without telling others who live theirs differently that they are wrong?
Recently I was watching one of my favourite YouTubers, Samantha from Batalash Beauty on periscope and she made a fantastic point about the fact that YouTubers, beauty bloggers and Instagram ‘stars’ constantly receive comments that all have the same theme; ‘She’s really pretty BUT…’ Or ‘She looks awesome BUT…’ Or ‘She’d be prettier if she…’ What follows on from those statements varies with things like ‘she needs to lose weight’, ‘that hair colour doesn’t suit her’, ‘her nose is too big’. The theme with all of these comments is the authors of them are already admitting that they like the person/thinks she’s pretty etc but feel like they can’t make a straight out nice comment like that without the need to add something negative to the end of it. 
Why is it that in this day and age we feel so threatened by others’ success/beauty/whatever it may be that we can’t give somebody a compliment without adding something rude or negative? The problem these days is that we are constantly flooded with images on social media of people who seem to be ‘perfect’. Whether it be on Insta, Snapchat, YouTube or Facebook, most of us follow successful people on one platform or another. Now, depending on the sort of person you are and how you view your self worth, you will either be inspired by greatness or knocked down by it. I know first hand that when you don’t have confidence/have low self esteem and don’t *cringe* love yourself (I know how cheesy that sounds but it’s true) it’s easy to feel jealous of other people’s success. But what I have learned and what you need to remember is that you don’t see anyone else’s whole lives, you don’t see their family troubles or the struggles they went through to get where they are today. You don’t know that they aren’t as confident as they seem. Everyone has flaws, but is how you view them that makes a person. If you look at yourself and point out everything that is wrong with you; maybe you have stretch marks from having Bub, maybe you have freckles that you don’t like or maybe you have an incredibly crooked nose (like myself), you won’t ever be happy. I have always been someone who lacks confidence and struggles with self-esteem and self image. I have anxiety because I’m scared of people judging me. However, I am learning to overcome those issues and forget about what I can’t change. I’m starting to focus on only the good things and what I like about myself. When we start seeing ourselves how our loved ones see us, we realise what incredible women we are. When we love ourselves, we appreciate others more and are confident enough within ourselves not to become jealous of others. I have never been one to comment nasty things on people’s photos/videos etc because I’ve always been one of those people who looks at things like ‘if i wouldn’t like it if someone said/did that to me, then I won’t do it to them.’ So although I have been jealous at times, I’ve never expressed it in a nasty way. 
Nobody became successful by being nasty to others and even if they did, would they really be happy? Chances are probably not. Learn to love yourself and you will be a much happier person all around. Ignore the flaws you can’t change and work to change the things you can. What also makes a big difference is who you follow on social media. If you’re following someone who constantly makes videos/writes blogs or shares photos that you don’t relate to or offend you, don’t follow them anymore. Even if some of the things they post are good/encouraging, there’s no point following someone who shares something that really upsets you. Follow people that you feel you either relate to or can be inspired by and cut out the rest. You will be a lot happier by doing so! You’d be surprised how much of what other people post can influence your mood and change how you feel about yourself. 
Finally, if you are inspired by somebody, appreciate their posts/pictures/videos or just genuinely really like them, tell them! You’d be surprised how far one nice comment goes. Like the quote says, ‘When women support each other, incredible things happen.’
Love yourself. Be kind to yourself & be kind to others.
Kimberly xo

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3 thoughts on “When Women Support Each Other, Incredible Things Happen…

  1. Well said! I’ve eventually learned to only surround myself with supportive people and it makes a world of difference – if only we didn’t have to protect ourselves like that and ALL women (and men) supported each other. Thanks x

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